back to zero

Im sorry for what i did, for all the shouting and vile words i've thrown. Yeah maybe you just called to greet me on my birthday but the pain i still bear inside was pushing me so hard. You've done so much effort ,im aware that you've been trying to reach me for the last 3 days, then when you finally got hold of me all i did was letting you know how much i hate you. No i don't really hate you, the bitter truth is ive been waiting for your call, i miss you so much that it hurts.

I'm sorry for rractign so badly, i just need to cover up the feelings i have for you, i still you, i still want you but you've chosen another path, leaving me behind with questions and pain. I wanted to love you from a distance, i still wan to know how's your life going on now adays but if i let myself gets closer to you, it's liek letting you hurt me over and over again.

Now im in misery again, whatever defenses i was able to put up in the last few weeks was totally devastated. back to zero na naman ako. balik sa simula, balik sa sakit. Oh god i wanted to get this out of my chest.